1. I brought in the newspapers. Where is Parade Magazine? What will my Saturday be like if I don’t have Parade to ignore?
2. I dreamt last night I was somewhere in St. Louis, in the suburbs, and it was time to leave. I told everyone I would walk, because the weather was good. I walked north on what I think was Warson Road. I got to the intersection of what should have been Clayton Road, but it wasn’t. I was confused. I looked at the street sign. It said I was crossing Boylston Street. Not the Boston Boylston Street, but a suburban street with big houses and lawns. I stopped and tried to think it through, but got nowhere. I continued.
Soon, I was with a group of people. These people had never heard of Clayton Road, or Ladue Road. They thought I was crazy. I realized that something very important had happened. I had entered a parallel universe, occupying the same space as my universe, on the same planet. But this was a universe unconnected to mine. I was the only link. How did I get there? Could I get back?
I tried to explain to everyone (all of whom looked like I could have known them, none of whom I knew) what had happened. They were polite, but I could see the internal snickering. I got more and more anxious and perturbed; my voice rose as I tried to explain myself.
I awoke, shivering.
3. I went right to the Business Section in the Post this morning. Atypical. It is usually second to last. The last thing I read is the front page, because I either know everything already, or it is too depressing. What does that say about the world, the newspaper business, and me?
I read a quote from an Obama representative on the cooperation the transition team would give the Bush administration to get more of the TARP funds released. But should I believe her? Her name is Cutter.
And then, there was a story about the bottleneck in the Senate getting the $15 billion to the auto industry. The bottleneck is named Corker. That makes more sense.
And then there is this guy who must be a magician because he made $50 billion disappear. Should people have wondered? His name is Madoff. In the old country, I bet it was Made-off.
Oh well, none of this important, is it? There was some important news in the business section. I leave you with two quotes:
“Retail sales rallied in November, falling 1.8 percent” – page D1
“About 40 national chain stores last week reported the worst November sales in more than 30 years at established stores when compared with the same month in 2007.” – page D2. Does that make sense? Well, look at the Dilbert cartoon:
1. You should invest all your money in diseased livestock.
2. It would be unwise to invest in just one sick cow. But if you aggregate a bunch of them together, the risk goes away.
3. It’s called Math.”